18 Etsy Finds For All The NOPE You Need In Your Life
God, I love Etsy. Etsy is life, guys. If you want to express yourself through your possessions but don’t have the skill to make them on your own, Etsy WILL have what you need. It’s like that rule of...
View ArticleNOPE To This Grilled Cheese Cronut
I like donuts, I like croissants, and I like yellow cheeses. I do not like them all in the same place. The cooking blog Oh, Bite It! took Dominique Ansel’s recipe for cronuts and decided that the right...
View ArticleHershey’s Has Banned The Import Of British Chocolate
Update on the whole Cadbury Egg situation: No British chocolate will be imported into the United States anymore, after Hershey’s made a deal with the group Let’s Buy British Imports to cease the import...
View ArticleMan Flashes Switchblade On Dance Floor In Attempt To Flirt With Woman, It...
What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard? Does it involve a switchblade? No? Then it’s definitely not the worst pick-up line I’ve ever heard. Chicago writer Mason Johnson recounted for CBS...
View ArticleGlobal Warming Is Causing Spiders To Become Giant Breeding Speeding Hell...
The 1990 cinematic triumph "Arachnophobia" is becoming a reality. As if we didn't have enough horror in the world, scientists have to show up and give us the very upsetting news that global warming is...
View ArticleOh God, Sarah Jessica Parker Is Possibly Threatening Us With “Sex And The...
I don't like where this is headed.
View ArticleJust No: Bedazzling Poop Is A Thing
Leave it to New York City to come up with some weird shit like this. Literally. This nonsense half makes me want to vomit, and half makes me question people’s life choices. I’m not sure why this...
View ArticleDr. Ruth Says Women Can’t Refuse Sex If The Man Has A “Very Aroused, Strong...
Ohhhhh, Dr. Ruth. I know Dr. Ruth Westheimer, at nearly 87, is what we can safely consider a senior citizen and should thus, maybe, be given a pass for having antiquated opinions about sex, gender and...
View Article“Minions” Tampons Are Just A Dream, But “Minions” Maxi Pads Are A Real-Life...
Earlier this week, I told you that the high mofos at Kotex Puerto Rico were so hyped up about the movie "Minions" that they dared to imagine a world in which "Minions"-themed tampons existed. Today, I...
View ArticleFrisky Rant: Enough With This “Friend Zone” Nonsense!
Ughhhhhh. The ubiquity of the whole "friend zone" conversation is depressingly sexist. Every single time I read an article, see a meme or am privy to a conversation where the idea surfaces, I want to...
View ArticlePro-Tip: Don’t Inject Your Dick With Viagra
Man, the things dudes will do for a long-lasting erection. Look, I'm not a "pro" at having a penis, but I am a "pro" at knowing when one is erect enough to do fun stuff with, and for a long enough...
View ArticleBrave Woman Pens Inspiring Essay About Finding A Ball Of CAT HAIR In Her Vagina
We have a little game we like to play in our group chat room called "Real Or Fake xoJane Headline." The goal, as you might expect, is to correctly guess whether the absurd and often extremely long...
View ArticleRIP Society: Taco Bell Is Offering Taco Shells Made Out Of Fried Chicken
Fast food innovations are hit or miss. Taco Bell is especially familiar with this truism, as they are responsible for both the Doritos Locos Taco -- their most successful launch to date -- and this new...
View ArticleCincher’s Waist-Trainer: Great Women Begin Where Their Ability To Breathe...
When I stepped out to grab lunch earlier, I popped into Ricky's, a well-known local beauty supply chain with a store below our office, and noticed a display of Cincher's waist-training corsets....
View ArticleSpelling Out Words With Your Baby’s Umbilical Cord Is Taking This Whole...
Anne Geddes wouldn't even do this.
View ArticleThis Ad For Translation Device Ili Is Also An Ad For Sexual Harassment
"I'm going to try and kiss girls I've never met before using this translation device, ili."
View ArticleCool, the Nina Simone Biopic That No One Wanted Is Hitting Theaters Soon
Is it possible to sue a movie trailer for assault?
View ArticleThis Chocolate Benedict Cumberbunny Is More Terrifying Than It Is Cute
And this is coming from someone who adores him
View ArticleJ.K. Rowling Writes Innacurate Native American History Into Her New Story,...
Does "J.K." stand for "Just Kidding?"
View Article